I’ve spent the last two years beating myself up over my BA degree grade. But why?
Because I felt I let my self down when ultimately I’m only human.
It was the classic case of letting life getting in the way of me. Mentally I wasn’t in the right place and it could have all fallen apart. Quite literally I was ready to withdraw from my course half way through but instead I opted for extensions to get my head back into gear.
Final year came with task of ‘Individual Program’ where we essentially wrote our own brief on what we wanted to photograph. I didn’t want to do this. I don’t know what I want to photograph. I can’t do this.
Tutorials pained me. As my peers were producing work from a strong foundation my only care was when my next gig was. I had no ideas. All I wanted to do was continue to be the ‘music girl.’ But that was just it, that was my idea. That was me. Music!
Like Photography music is known as an international language. Varying tempos, shifting pitches and building crescendos all contribute to how we recognise and interpret music. In listening we digest and move to the beat where we gain an emotional connection to a particular song. This was the very foundation of my final year.
Something I love music, helped aid my picture making, getting me through my degree and in turn became less of a chore. But it was too late. The votes were in, my grade is and still remains a 2:2. But my degree wasn’t a waste nor should I beat myself up over it. I finished. I graduated and I still have more than most.
Earlier this year I did a course in Social Media. The thought of finishing with a mediocre grade again just wasn’t an option. I needed to succeed to show myself I can do it and that if I wasn’t in that place 3 years ago I probably would have finished with a higher degree. I gained myself a Professional Certificate in Social Media at an 80% pass rate. I can do it.
But lets not change the past.
A victory is still a victory no matter what the score is.
Here is my degree show video.